Chris Cox Rox

a break

2010-07-26T17:14:00.000-07:00

I have had a lot on mind lately and haven’t updated this blog in quite a while. I am about to have my 21st Tysabri infusion. Almost 2 years on Tysabri and no new lesions. For those that don’t know what that means in the overall picture it’s hard to explain. You can have no new lesions but you can still be going downhill in other areas. You can have new lesions and feel fine which has happened to me in the past. I hate when it is time for an MRI because the outcome doesn’t really mean shit to me. It is just a way for the doctors to track the number of lesions on your brain. That being said it makes ms all the more understandable for people that don’t have it, right? I’m just kidding. It’s frustrating to try and understand things even when you are the one with ms. the last few months have been up and down for me but I do know that Tysabri is the right drug for me. It definitely has slowed down progression of my ms but I still have progression in the disease. Its very frustrating when you think things are just rolling along and then BAM you have another setback. This just seems to be the way my ms works on me and some of my other ms brothers and sisters. I cannot play the guitar at all right now and like the beginning I don’t know when or if I will be able to again. I have had several issues with fatigue over the last few months, more than the year before. More days it feels like Im walking through mud with heavy legs than past years. The cognition (brain fog) is really becoming noticeable to me. Not being able to find the right words and forgetting stuff a lot. This could all have to do with the heat and just being tired or it could be the beginning of the end of a few things. I just don’t know. I will keep pressing on and trying to do what I can do when I can do it but not to the extreme that I have in the past. On my treatment with Tysabri I have NO PLANS to change this. I am happy with the results I am getting with Tysabri and the fact that I have had no side effects with the drug. The new procedure CCSVI that everyone is talking about is on my mind also. I am still on the fence and not ready to argue for either side. Both sides make some good and bad points and I just need more time on that one. I do enjoy all of the videos and blogs on ccsvi from both sides. I think at this point we need to hear points from both sides. Keep argueing you guys, I like it. I will put my guitars in their cases today. I just don’t have the desire to try and play them for now. I was really disappointed in the lack of sales for the last 2 cds that I put out and also just the lukewarm interest in both. I do really appreciate all of you that did buy one of the cds or download some tunes. I especially appreciate those of you that even just wrote me and are friends of mine. That means a lot to me. The first book that I wrote did better than the cds and I made some really great friends that also have ms and even spouses of others with ms understood a lot more after reading it. The thing is on these projects that I have done is not to get rich or even make that much money. You can look at the base prices on café press and other places that I sell through and see that I only make a dollar off of each item that I sell and I don’t even keep that. I put my new book up on facebook for free, what I have of it so far and will post it in its entirety when completed. I started and did these things out of my love for making music and sharing my life affected by ms with others. As far as music goes for me. Evil Diesel is my last planned project and I am only singing in this project. I had written all of the songs before my hands got too bad to play and I’m sure Nate can write the guitar lines to any additional songs in the future if needed. My plan is only to sing from this day forward for Evil Diesel. When and if that project ends or runs it’s course it will be a matter of how my health is as to whether or not I try anything else. At this point I would say no. My focus will be on my days left for living. I will continue to write for ms connections magazine occasionally and I am in the process of working things out to try and become a speaker for Biogen/ Idec (Tysabri). Those 2 or 3 things will keep me busy along with trying to continue to work at a day job with a civil engineering firm. Nate is updating the evil diesel facebook page most of the time so there will be nothing that slides by without an announcement from that site. I just wanted to update the people that are interested in what’s going on with me right now. I will try to check in on facebook as much as I can just to see what you guys are up to from my phone. I just need some time away from a few things right now. I guess that I’m in a phase of reprioritizing the things that I’m doing and leaving a footprint that will be felt for years to come as an advocate for spreading awareness about multiple sclerosis. I welcome any emails to me at chriscoxrox@live.com I just didn’t want anyone to think I was ignoring requests for stuff, hugs, smiles and all of that other stuff on facebook. I just may not be around as much as I used to be.
Much Love,
CC

2010-04-29T09:48:00.001-07:00

dose of evil diesel goes online today

2010-04-14T19:08:00.001-07:00

My new cd available on itunes now http://ping.fm/igC62

2010-04-08T16:51:00.001-07:00

Digital Download of my new CD AVAILABLE NOW !! http://ping.fm/upVqC
CD's available soon............

2010-03-24T12:15:00.001-07:00

living is easy with your eyes closed - john lennon

2010-03-23T19:17:00.001-07:00

THANK YOU Kortni Bermel- $100.00 donation to the ms walk and Thank you Melinda for your donation also ! You Guys are awesome !!!! There is still time to donate to the team if anybody else would like to help fight MS

http://ping.fm/FPCOs

2010-03-20T16:50:00.001-07:00

snowing in waxahachie

2010-03-19T07:57:00.001-07:00

chriscoxrox ms walk team 2010- walk-run or just donate - Official team page-
http://ping.fm/eelHA

MS WALK --- A TEAM FOR ME---- WOW!!!

2010-03-18T18:55:00.000-07:00

MS WALK

Today was one of those days where something catches you of guard and you really just don’t know what to say at that moment of impact. I opened my email and saw one from my sister. I immediately clicked on it ready to read a joke or look at a funny picture. It was neither. She was asking my permission to post a page on facebook that she had created. She started a team to walk for me in the MS walk next weekend in Addison. These teams walk to raise money for research to help find a cure for ms. It is all run through the National Multiple Sclerosis Society and it is a great program. She has been taking the time to organize and now recruit members for the team next weekend or get them just to donate to the NMSS. This is a big task to take on. I know how hard it is to try and get people to do stuff like this. I try to get people to come to my website and listen to my music and read my book and that is a never ending task with a lot of rejection. Now, she is trying to get people to walk for my life and the lives of others affected by MS. This is an amazing thing she is doing. That is so weird to even say “for my life”. I have never even thought of it like that. I have done things for the NMSS to raise money and I am sure that I have influenced others to buy bracelets or donate to them. My sister was taking on the task of creating this team in my name for the NMSS. How cool is that? That is so awesome that I don’t even know where to start. I guess I started in the place I always do. My blog is my place to vent and share news like this. I am so proud of my sister for doing this. If you are reading this please help make her team a success. It’s not just for me or her. It’s for everyone with MS. It’s only one day out of your life or a few clicks of your mouse. That’s not a lot to ask for the people that carry ms with them everyday of their life and will carry it until a cure is found. Please join or donate to the team she made in my name and help us reach our goal for this years event.

Thank you Tammy, I love you,
Your little brother

Team Page

http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Walk/TXHWalkEvents?team_id=202609&pg=team&fr_id=12740&s_tafId=136707

starting year #5

2010-03-08T16:11:00.001-08:00

I am wrapping up 4 years since my diagnosis of ms. As I start my 5th year I can only imagine what lies ahead. I still get the “You don’t look sick” or the “You look so good” and I just smile. The people that don’t have ms don’t realize or remember that we carry this with us 24 hours a day. We constantly manage our pain and continue to learn pain management as it progresses. On the days that I don’t look so good, I don’t leave the house. You will rarely see me when I am feeling really bad. I would be lying to you if I said that it wasn’t that bad. I constantly lie to myself. I have pushed through and continued life the best that I can. I have done a few things that I thought that I never would have been able to do. I have had really good days and met some really great people because of my ms. I have been in really dark places and not wanted to come out because of my ms. A lot of people don’t understand the meds that I take are only going to slow down the progression of my disease not cure it or make it better. It gets so hard to explain it over and over again. Then I look at others that have had ms for 25 years and know that I have a long way to go if I make it that far. That’s a lot of explaining and I admire and respect all of you for what you deal with every minute. Another tricky question is “Are your meds working”. I wish I had a better answer for that one. I really don’t know if any of them are really slowing down anything or if it is still moving through my body at its own pace. I had a MRI today and I will have my 17th infusion of tysabri in 4 days. This also just happens to be ms awareness week. The following Monday, March 15th, 2010 is my diagnosis date from back in 06. This is a lot to take in and think about. 17 months on tysabri seems crazy to me. I can’t believe that I have been on it that long. I have given myself 101 injections of avonex, 296 injections of copaxone and had 17 infusions of tysabri. I am so tired of feeling like I do and it chips away at us a little more every day. Dragging myself to work every day and putting on the happy face for everyone. My hands and fingers getting worse after they let up for maybe a day or two. My Ribs still feel like they are broken and I am giving up hope that they will ever feel any better than they do now. How do I feel after 4 years of having ms? I hate it. With every fiber of my being I hate it. I also know that I have to continue to live. I have to show others with ms that we can accomplish things when we try. We have to realistic about what we try but we have to continue to try. I have almost finished writing my second book and I am trying to finish up some music projects that I started a while back. Some days I feel like why even bother trying and then I stop feeling sorry for myself and keep trying until I can do it. I know that I will wake up in the same diseased body everyday and that I have a choice of what to do. I choose to keep moving.

2010-02-20T20:39:00.001-08:00

Avoid evil deeds as a man who loves life avoids poison.

2010-02-19T10:25:00.001-08:00

Be greatly aware of reality as you meet or confront it each day, and from that become fit enough to deal with it

2010-02-18T12:12:00.001-08:00

An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.

2010-02-17T08:40:00.001-08:00

BETTER than a thousand hollow words is one word that brings peace.

2010-02-16T10:15:00.001-08:00

Though all his life a fool associates with a wise man, he may no more comprehend the Truth than a spoon tastes the flavor of the soup

2010-02-14T20:38:00.001-08:00

Hope everyone had a great V-DAY

2010-02-10T08:26:00.001-08:00

I've hit my reset button.....

feb-update-blog

2010-02-09T17:00:00.000-08:00

Feb 9th, 2010

Things don't always go as planned. especially when you have ms. I have been fighting many battles and the road has split in many directions for me. My solo CD still needs work to be completed. Some of that is my fault and some of it is not being able to pin down guest musicians for parts I would like to add. I am having a hard time holding a guitar pick and playing the guitar right now. I'm having to tape the pick in my fingers and try to play. Most days I just can't strum in the rhythm I need. This leads to give up for the day and the next thing you know weeks have gone by. I have also been preoccupied by one of my side projects. Writing songs and doing vocals for a rock project called "Evil Diesel". I can play sloppy guitar tracks and my buddy Nate does them over for me. As long as I get the idea across to him it all works out great. Drums were recorded for 8 tracks so far and the guitar is almost done. Bass needs to be added and I need to do the final vocals for them. This has changed my mood for writing stuff right now and I'm staying in the moment. Back to one might have to wait a little longer to be finished. SBTS has also been put on the back burner for now. I'm not sure what really will happen with that project. A few bumps in the road have come up with that project. The way things are looking right now is "Evil Diesel" will be the first project done. It is something completely different from anything you could ever imagine. You will be shocked when you hear it. I have heard 4 of the tracks that are nearly complete and it amazes me to listen to it and know that it's us. It's been so easy to fall into, we should have done this 15 years ago. It's what I've wanted to do for a long time but just never even tried. It's raw and loud and just puts it all out there. I love doing the acoustic stuff and need to finish Back to one but I guess the time just isn't right for that one. I will finish Back to one, I'm just not sure when. I have also been working on my second book and continue to write a little each day. I have read it quite a few times also trying to see what areas need more or less detail. It's so hard to break your life down into these little sections. I will keep this book short also so the reader doesn't get bored. My ms has been jacking with me but not knocking me out. The usual problems with my hands and the feeling of broken ribs. Some days my hands feel so inflamed that it feels like they are going to pop. I know that the Tysabri infusions are making me feel better in general but I still have the normal little problems that just wont go away. It's no where as bad as it was last year but some days just really suck. Fatigue has been kicking my ass but I probably do too much anyway. The days that I want to play my guitar and my hands just wont allow it are a kick in the crotch. I loose my momentum and the song writing for that day is lost. My legs have felt much better on Tysabri. I still have bad days and they are weak on some days but nothing is perfect. I have an mri coming up next month and that will tell me if I have any new brain or spine lesions. I am confidant that the results will be positive. I am fairly certain that most of the damage and pain that I deal with today was caused during my very first attack. It went on too long without proper treatment. That's just how it played out. No one knew what the hell was wrong with me and it kept running wild until I found my neurologist in 2006 that helped me fight back. He is still my doc today and we are still fighting. I hope to knock all of my projects out by or before this summer. I will let you know more details soon.

2010-02-04T11:55:00.001-08:00

Tysabri infusion 16 Friday morning

2010-02-02T19:54:00.001-08:00

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. [Buddha]

2010-01-29T11:39:00.001-08:00

Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.

2010-01-28T18:02:00.001-08:00

No seed ever sees the flower.

2010-01-28T07:21:00.001-08:00

I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act

2010-01-27T12:16:00.001-08:00

However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?

2010-01-25T12:51:00.001-08:00

The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done,
we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change.
So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger,
but in wisdom, understanding and love.

2010-01-24T10:22:00.001-08:00

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

2010-01-23T10:39:00.001-08:00

Just as the highest and the lowest notes are equally inaudible, so perhaps, is the greatest sense and the greatest nonsense equally unintelligible.

Thank you

2009-12-29T13:58:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone got the free download of cinnamon girl and rocked it loud for the neighbors and friends.
I want to thank you guys for over 10,000 hits to my site for 2009. It was far more than I ever dreamed I would get here.
I also want to thank you guys for all of the support you have given me this year.
I also want to let you know right now that I WILL be doing a few live shows in 2010. Some will be solo stuff and a couple might be with a suprise band. We will have to see which way the wind blows.
Whatever happens, 2010 looks to be a great year full of music and love.
Keep you eyes open for my new CD "Back to One"
The new CD from Evil Diesel (my full band project) almost finished recording now
SBTS (another full band project that I joined)
AND my new book "Rational thoughts from a damaged brain"
That's a lot of stuff to watch for but I promise it will be worth it.

Have a happy new year !!!
See you soon, CC

December- tis the season

2009-12-16T07:50:00.000-08:00

First a quick update on projects- Book #2 - I am reading it and making edits. Man I cuss a lot. I wonder how many cuss words I took out of my first book. I am leaving them all in this one. Get ready for some major F bombs.
Solo CD- Back to One- Still working on some new tracks that I decided to add to the CD BUT I am trying to have a free download of 1 song ready for xmas. I might mix this song as is for a xmas gift from me to you. SO it might end up sounding different on the final version.
Music side Project #1-SBTS- Still recording in Houston.
Music side project #2- This project of mine has grown into a monster. A full blown CD is almost finished recording. This by far is my favorite rock band project in a long long time. I have written 10 songs for the project and long time friend Nathan Schmidt is re-recording my guitar parts and adding his own lead tracks. My hands have gotten to bad lately to play the way I am used to. I can tell you this though- If you like AC/DC then you will love this band that Nate and I have put together. I have come up with a name and I am working on artwork now for the band. Keep watching updates for the release of the name of the project and more details soon!
Health update-- I still have MS' ..............lol
Winter always sucks but this one is not as harsh on me as last year. Mostly my hands are taking the abuse this winter. That has slowed me down recording my guitar tracks and I keep dropping stuff but my legs have been doing ok.
I hope everyone has a great week and if you don't celebrate xmas then have a happy whatever day you choose. Keep checking back for info on the FREE download.
Hugs,
CC

November 22

2009-11-22T18:07:00.000-08:00

Just a quick update on what's up with me.

Working on the 2nd book still. There's a excerpt on my last blog. This one has been rough and emotional for me. It's harder than I thought it was going to be. I'm finding out a lot about myself.

On the music front I'm still working on Back to One. I think the last few songs are going to be really stripped down. Just vocals and a guitar. It looks like it will be full instruments on half of the cd and stripped down on the other half.

Sounds behind the sun is still working on recording also.

A new project has been spawned from an idea I had while talking with Nate. It's a project that I've always wanted to do but just never have. Sounds like a total 1980's ac/dc type band when they still had Bon Scott. I've been writing songs and playing rough guitar tracks then sending them to Houston for nate to replace with tracks of his own. I add the vocals as the songs near completion. The CD already has 4 songs pretty much done. Crazy how things work out. Watch out for news on that one in the coming months.

MS has been up and down. I have had to tape a pick between my fingers to record guitar tracks because I can't hold little objects right now. My hands have been giving me a pretty hard time for the last few weeks. The weather is making it rough on me also. The drastic changes in temp. also set me back.

Stay positive and don't forget to smile.
Catch ya soon,
CC

Excerpt from my new book due out next year

2009-10-28T16:18:00.000-07:00

Here is a excerpt from my new book that will be out next year. It's called rational thoughts from a damaged brain.

I’m just not good at saying a lot of things out loud. I guess that’s why I write so much music. Good or bad music, I write it mainly to get it out of my system. I have so much in my head. Like most people there are things I remember and things I forget. I carry a lot around with me for whatever reason. Some would say it’s for writing my music. When I make mistakes in life, I don’t always know right at that moment. Sometimes it swells and explodes on me later in life. Sometimes I know right away and correct it or wish I could correct it. Missed opportunities are always a sore spot for me. At times I would be bitter or full of regret. I would be quick to replace one thing or person with another. Memories can be painful as well as happy. I have run across people that I can’t remember but they remember me. I have talked to people that I remember and they that don’t remember me. I think I chose to hold on to or let go of things that I categorize in a certain area without even realizing that I am doing it. Maybe someone made a big impression on me and I hold on to that and make it more than it really was. Maybe it’s the other way around and I made the impression on someone and carved my spot in their memory. I guess that I literally take everything to heart that is said to me. Don’t sweat the small stuff. That’s not as easy as it sounds. Who decides what the small stuff is? Sometimes I remember a smile of someone or an angry face. Sometimes it’s a smell of a room, clothing, cigarette or just the way someone smelled. I have written songs about people and never told them. I have written songs for people and they knew. I have written songs about story lines that I make up like a miniature movie in my head. Anger was a popular theme for me for quite a while and the words flowed like wine for me. I’ve been through so much shit in my life that you wouldn’t believe half of it. I have thought that I was in love when in reality it was no where near what love is supposed to be. I’ve made a ton of bad choices when it comes to women but I have learned something from everyone that I have come into contact with. I didn’t realize that I was being taught a lesson on those occasions until much later in life. I know now that those people and events have made me what I am today. How I reacted to those events played a huge part in where I am in my life and how I react to things now. I have always felt like I was here for a reason but I just didn’t know what it was. I should be doing something more than what I was doing. I just didn’t know what. I thought that I was invincible for most of my life. Yes, there were times early in my life that I asked “Why does this always happen to me” Was that the small stuff? I have had my share of laughter as well as pain. What was it all for? Was it for writing songs, a book, a letter or just to make me into me? Music has always been a major part of my life. Music has sent me down the roads that I have traveled to get to this point in my life. I have made decisions on friends, relationships, jobs, so much in my life because of my music. I was taken to every fork in the road of my life because of my music. Whatever band that I was in made up my inner circle of friends. Whatever city we traveled to found some of my friends along the road. My schedule of playing determined if I worked a regular job or not. How my band was doing determined my mood at that time. My bands introduced me to so much, good and bad. My music had a lot of control over me. I’m not sure how control is divided up for me now. For a long time it was easy. Music had some control and I had some control. It’s so much more complicated now. Music has taken a back seat to a lot of things. It’s still in the car but it rarely gets near the steering wheel. Family grabs the wheel, Multiple Sclerosis grabs the wheel, doctors grab the wheel, Prescription Drugs grab the wheel, Friends grab the wheel, Music grabs it when no one is looking and I try to keep the car on the road. It’s getting harder and harder. Music turns into just writing sometimes. That’s who is driving now. I was told that I have good coping skills and now you are involved. When you started reading this you didn’t know that you were putting a flag in the road. My road or yours? We won’t know until later. How do you respond to this or should you even try? Why am I writing this? I think if I don’t write it I will go crazy.

catch up october

2009-10-07T16:38:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to let everyone know how things were going. I go next week for tysabri infusion #12. One year on tysabri, hard to believe. The last couple of months have been packed with stuff. I have been working on SBTS stuff , a new music project with some of the guys from the Tin Henry family. I just heard one of the tracks and it sounds great. I have had to re-cut some of the vocals and I'm glad that I did ! It is shaping up nice. I am also still working on my solo cd. I pushed back the release date of the project because I have a few more songs I wanted to put on it. This is my last planned solo cd and I want it to say a lot. I'm not sure when either project will be finished but I will keep you in the loop. I have felt decent the last couple of months with some pretty rough days mixed in. I have been fighting that give up feeling and it's hard some days. I know that I push myself to much and end up paying for it. I plan to get the projects done, it's just taking longer than I thought. Some days I feel like the breath is being squeezed out of me and I have been beat with a baseball bat. I just need to rest more. Thanks for your support and emails! I'm still putting your pictures up on the site so keep sending them !!!
Much Love,
CC

8-23-09

2009-08-23T18:56:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update

I started a video blog where you can see my 10th tysabri infussion and a little about me and tysabri. I will be answering some questions on future videos and who know what else I will do?
I feel pretty good and appreciate all of your support!!
Thanks to Delynn, Tina , Lisa , Mischa, Todd and all of you that have sent pictures in for my friends and fans pages!! you don't know how much that means to me. It has been really hard not being able to play live for so long. I really miss it. To have you guys show that you still support me makes me want to get back out there even more. I would love to have more pictures from my friends! I am going to try and start a street team to help get others involved with pictures and spreading the word. I am still recording and have pushed the release date of my next cd back.
Send pictures or questions for the video blog to chriscoxrox@live.com

Thank you guys,
MUCH LOVE,
CC

Inflammation Sunday!

2009-08-02T15:58:00.000-07:00

8/2/09
Only with MS’
My legs have been feeling better and better. I have even been walking around the block at night when it’s cooler. Things have been looking up for sure. I bought an electronic drum set to do some drum tracks without having to mic up an acoustic drum set. I messed around with it a little bit this weekend and got it all set up. I also set up to record a few more guitar tracks only to find out the inflammation in my hands was so bad that I couldn’t play crap. MS’ is so wonderful. You just never know what you’re going to get day to day. The CD is taking longer than I had hoped to finish. Hopefully this inflammation will leave my hands soon so I can keep working to finish the cd.

2009-07-20T14:03:00.000-07:00

July 20th.

Got my 9th Tysabri infussion today and feel great. I also got my mri results back last week and they showed no new lesions and a reduced size in some of the current lesions. This is awesome news that I was very happy to hear. The new website design has been posted by sheridan and looks great. There will be a few tweaks here and there as we go along but it is pretty much all there. Some of the friend and fan pictures are up in the photo gallery. Send yours in for a chance to win the new CD !
Now back to recording,
Much love,
CC

Quick hit

2009-07-12T14:14:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note:
Some people are asking about the cd project.
To clear things up, here it is.
I have 2 cd's comming out this summer.
One is a solo cd and the other is a full band project called Sounds behind the sun.
They are both going very well. I think you will dig both of them.
I also get the results of my recent mri on wed. the 15th this month. I will update more after that.
Thanks for all of the follows on Twitter and checking the book out.
Much love,
CC

JULY

2009-07-05T14:19:00.000-07:00

I just got back from L.A. last week. The weather was awesome and I felt great!
Had a little 4th of July party with part of the family last night. Now I am having a lazy day. I planned to work on the cd a little today but haven't got off of the couch yet. I am lacking motivation today. I have received a few picture for the win it before you can buy it contest but would like to see more! The book is still doing well, I just need Montel or oprah to read it now....lol
I have a MRI on Tuesday, I can't wait....Yeah right.
This is medical month I guess. MRI, Neurologist appt, Tysabri. I think I have an appt each week this month. Back in the Texas weather sucks. The heat is killer, I could use a bigger AC on the house. Mine can't keep up with the 100 degree days everyday. Still working on the website also. Keep checking back, hope to have it up soon. Send me those pictures and win the new cd when it's done. So much to do, not enough time in the day!
Talk soon!
CC

June 21st

2009-06-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since my last blog. I have had a lot of stuff going on and need to get back on track with this blog. I had my #8 tysabri infusion last friday and everything went fine. I have been feeling pretty good since my last flair up ended. My legs feel really tired but they are working so that's good. I can't believe that I have been on Tysabri for 8 months already. Time has flown by. On the music front, I am still working on the CD. I have added a couple of cover songs into the mix and one will shock you, no hints yet...lol. I leave for L.A. next week so that will back me up on the cd for a little while. I'm not sure of the new release date but I don't want to rush it. Sheridan is working on the new look for the website and I hope to have it up pretty soon. I have seen it and it looks awesome. The artwork for the CD cover is almost done now also. I am launching a contest for someone to win the new cd autographed for free before it goes on sale. All you have to do is take a picture of yourself holding a sign that says "Chris Cox Rox". Make it on paper, a tree, a car, a body, a t-shirt, or whatever you think of. Be creative and the best picture will win. email me the picture to chriscoxrox@live.com
I have also been working on new songs with Sounds behind the Sun. They are some real rockers. If you want some of the heavy side of my music back, this is it. SBTS is going to be a great project and the first band I have worked with since ms hit me. I have been worried about expectations from a band because of my ms but they have been awesome.
Thanks for all of your letters and kind words. The book is still doing really well and I have received many letters from some of you that have read it and I am so happy that it helped you. Remember that you are not alone.
Together we are strong !!
CC

from may 17th

2009-05-17T19:50:00.000-07:00

May 17, 2009

Feeling better but still not 100%. I am fighting through this and ready for my ms to take a break. It has been giving me hell for the last 2 months.
I have a good group of songs together for the new cd but I am still waiting on getting Sheridan down to cut the drum tracks. I also need to add guitar solos and melodic touches in on most of the songs. I have been having weird crackleing and poping show up in the rough mixes so I am fighting with that now also. I took a break from my solo stuff for a little while to cut some vocal tracks on the new band “Sounds behind the Sun” stuff also last week. They have been jamming in Houston and sending me mp3’s of the rehearsals. I have been writing lyrics to the stuff and recording them on the mp3’s that they send me at home. It’s a pretty good system, better than going to Houston to rehearse! That stuff is going pretty good also. The real studio stuff with SBTS is set to take place in mid / late July. I will keep up the info on both projects here on my blog.
I have another infusion coming up on Friday May 22nd. My fingers have felt so swollen the last few weeks that I think they are about to pop. The fun just never stops with ms.
I saw a letter on a website and thought that I would share it with you. Enjoy and we will talk later!
CC
A Letter FROM Multiple Sclerosis

Dear Newly Diagnosed,

I know you don't want to talk to me right now and I can't say I blame you. I'm sure it was quite a shock, finding me camped on your doorstep that day, with my luggage packed. And I know you didn't "exactly" invite me in, but here I am. I'm certain you're probably wondering how I got your address in the first place, aren't you? Everybody always asks me that stupid question. It was easy really. I looked you up in a statistical manual, calculated your genetics and environment, crunched some numbers about your childhood illnesses, relatives illnesses, and basic habits, and I located you. It wasn't hard at all. I chose you because I could.

Now, I'm not saying we have to be friends here. Frankly, I'd be a bit surprised if we got along very well at all. You and I are very different in many ways. For instance, I thrive on surprises, whereas you prefer to always know what lies ahead. I enjoy a big dose of sardonic humor...you prefer a kinder, more mellow approach. I see nothing wrong with pain and suffering...you try to avoid it. A good time for me is kicking ass and taking no names...you prefer a reasonable fight.

Here's the part that's probably really going to piss you off, so I might as well just get it out of the way. To date, no one, and I mean no one, has ever been able to evict me once I decide to move in. Oh sure, some people try to slow me down by scaring me with needles and the like, but I don't leave. I get quiet and reflective sometimes, but I'll never leave you totally. That you can count on, my friend.

So here's how this is going to work with me, like it or not. I'm here and I'm not leaving so we might as well try our best to co-exist. You do some things for me, and I'll occasionally scratch your back (and anywhere I else I choose to itch you, just for the record). I'll give you some good days and if I like you, maybe even a few good months or years. I'll teach you some important life lessons about not taking things for granted, which you'll thank me for later. I'll encourage you to get out of bed and live today to the fullest and to enjoy whatever morsel of goodness The Universe is throwing on your plate. I'll teach you how to appreciate the simple things in life and how not to sweat the small stuff. I'm definitely gonna make you laugh sometimes, even if you don't want to. Likewise, I'm gonna make you cry sometimes because you need to. You WILL learn to respect me or I'll kill you trying. If you think about it from my point of view, I'm not asking for much in return really. I just want to have a good time messing you up. A few laughs when I surprise you with being unable to walk or see. A little chuckle for me when you accidentally wet yourself because I've messed with your bladder. Maybe even a full, belly laugh when I make you ride around in one of those electric chairs or something. It's all in good fun. And again, if I like you, I may not make it a permanent event.

So what do say, roomie? We got a deal? Personally I think you're getting the better end of the stick out of this arrangement, but that's just my perspective. Take your time thinking over your answer. I've got your whole life to await your response.

Sincerely yours,

Multiple Sclerosis

**Contains harsh language**
Dear Multiple Sclerosis Ok, roomie , you evidently have me confused with some one else! I am never up for just a reasonable fight. I love a good fight- so pack a lunch you son of a bitch; you have met your match with me. And I am not ashamed to admit that I fight dirty.Did you ever think that maybe I chose you? Or that maybe it wasn't just coincidental that we ran into each other? Did you really think that I just let you walk in? You need your ass kicked and I'm gonna be the one to do it. I'm your worst nightmare. Friends? We'll never be friends you piece of shit. The needles are just a start as to what I'm going to do to you. It's like Chinese torture-- I'm just starting out with the little things. Needles and steroids are minor compared to the horrifying things I have up my sleeve for you. Sure, I like to avoid pain and suffering BUT I'll also be the first to dish it out. I can be just as vengeful as you. Don't you worry, I'll serve your ass with an eviction notice soon enough!Keep thinking that I'm calm..that's exactly what I want. Go ahead and keep trying to mess with me. When you least expect it- I'm gonna Muhammad Ali your ass. Sure you may get some blows in but, do you really think that messing with my vision or mobility is really gonna take me down? I'm bigger than that. I love life and I'm not going to let anyone or anything get in my way of being happy. It's going to take a lot more than something as sorry as you to hold me back. Oh, and by the way, you think that you're hurting me if I wet myself?? I'm pissing on your face mother fucker! Fuck with my bowels next and see what happens!It's you who has to learn to respect me. I DEMAND respect and eventually you'll give it to me. I don't mind long fights. What's the fun in a three round match? I'll take greater pleasure in TKO'ing your ass in the 12th. Before long you'll be begging for mercy. You'll hate surprises when I'm through with you. I have something that you don't-- HEART AND DETERMINATION. That's why I'm gonna win this fight!You got the short end of the stick when you showed up here! Are you wondering now if you had the wrong address? Nope, I've been waiting for you. I was born with a mission-- it just took me awhile to find out what it was. So, be prepared, I've been in training for over 30 years!And for the record- fuck your perspective and fuck you too.Very truly yours!
THE LAST ONE STANDING

may 9

2009-05-09T21:17:00.000-07:00

Things are back on track with the recording. I have been getting a lot of good stuff done. Things are just taking a little longer than I had hoped. I'm not going to rush it though. I will try to stay on track for a June-July release date. Stay tuned for more!Much Love,CC

Weekend of vocals

2009-05-03T18:35:00.000-07:00

I did a lot of vocal recording this weekend. Still not sure about them. I'm going to have to live with them a while and see if they grow on me. I need to get the freaking drums down. Also worked on some of the Sounds behind the sun stuff. I will be going to Houston to do the final vocals for the STBS stuff. Other than that I felt pretty good. I am dead tired. Check in later !!
CC

Saturday April 25th

2009-04-25T21:13:00.000-07:00

Full day!
I did some major recording today. Things are going really good! I might end up cutting a couple of songs out of the CD if things keep going this way. I will have plenty of songs and just roll with the best for the cd.
I also had a few pictures shot tonight that might be used in the new CD. I might stick one up on myspace or somewhere else. I am digging how things are going so far. I had my Tysabri infusion Friday with no problems. They had to take blood for the regular 6 month liver test. I should have a M.R.I rolling up soon.
Catch ya later!!

April 20th a little late

2009-04-23T19:29:00.000-07:00

April 20, 2009 Update

I had a productive weekend of recording. Songs are starting to shape up. I have the solid roots for 8 of the tracks down. I was starting to wonder when I would be able to put some good solid work in on the cd. The flare up that I had a couple of weeks ago, set me back some but things are starting to look up. You have a lot of time to think about all kinds of stuff when you can’t get around. I did some arranging in my head and heard a lot of parts and instruments that I imagined might sound good on the tracks. I have a clear idea of what I want this project to sound like. I hope that I can pull all of the instruments off. They sound so easy in my head but I know it will not be that easy. I broke out the Les Paul for some dirty tracks this weekend and it sounded great. I have been tracking the clean guitars with my Strat and this seems to be blending really well. I have also been using my Takamine for the acoustic parts. In the past I have stuck to one guitar for tracking but I have a whole new feel for this project. I am walking on my own now and feeling much better. I hope this was just a passing flare with my ms. The wheel chair and walker were driving me crazy. The overall pain has gone from a 9 to about a 4 on the scale of hurt. That is good for me and seems to be my normal number these days. 3-5 is my field of play for the last year. While talking to a friend of mine from future-link, I realized something. The way we deal with constant pain is through distraction. We try to keep our minds off of the pain and focused on something else. Music seems to be my something else right now.

without legs

2009-04-15T20:20:00.000-07:00

A long week without legs

Last Sunday seemed like a normal day. I did some work in my yard on the fence, general weekend stuff. Then Sunday night the hammer fell. I started to get up from the couch after dinner. I went immediately down to the ground hard. I hit my elbow and shoulder on the ceramic tiled floor and head and neck on the bottom of the couch. I though I just made a goofy step or something. I was checking to see what was hurt and besides the obvious neck and shoulder my legs felt kind of goofy. I moved them so I thought no big deal. I started to get up and something was not right. I could not support my weight. This was kind of new but didn’t freak me out yet. It should pass in 30 minutes or so. I probably just over did it. Bedtime rolled around and I still couldn’t stand up. My wife somehow drug me to the bedroom. I was dead tired and had no problem going to sleep. The next morning came and still no legs. I could not support my weight still. Tuesday rolled around and I still could not stand. My neurologist had me come in that day. I called him that morning and was sitting in his office that afternoon. If things did not improve by the end of the week I was going to have a M.R.I. He also ordered me a wheel chair. This seemed like no big deal until I got home. Then it hit me. I don’t want to be in a chair 24-7. I lost it. I couldn’t even make it to all of the rooms in my own house. Now I had a walker at home and a wheel chair on the way. Wednesday I could stand up with the help of leaning on something. Slowly I could take steps as time went on. Kind of like Frankenstein. Slow dragging monster steps with the aid of a walker. Friday rolled around and I could walk with a cane and slowly by myself. I was ready to get outside of the house. I was going crazy stuck inside. I drove the car around the block with my wife to see if I could do it. I watered the yard and feed the dogs. Just from that I was beat down.
Saturday was better and Sunday also. I can walk without any help now. It’s just not as smooth as before and I get tired sooner. Just another fun filled week with ms. This is the short version of the week. I thought that I would spare you the details until another time.

April 5- New Stuff

2009-04-05T10:12:00.000-07:00

The last 2 weeks have been up and down. I had my Tysabri Infusion on the last Friday of March. The week leading up to that was rough. A couple of days after the infusion I start to feel a little better. I have been writing like crazy and have about 8 of the new songs in progress for the new CD. Sheridan is working on a total overhaul for the website. The CD has been the fuel for a lot of change in my world right now. I can't wait to see what Sheridan does on the new site. I hope to have a couple of songs to give away before the summer release of the full CD. I hope this CD blows everyone away. I am really happy with what I have so far.

Sunday March 15th LAZY

2009-03-15T16:26:00.000-07:00

Not a lot happened last week. I've been in a weird place lately. I guess a low, happens a lot with ms and the drugs. I am feeling a little better but taking it slow. I've decided not to do any appearances or gigs for a while. The stress is just to much for me right now. I need a break for a little while so my fog can clear. My legs are still getting weaker and my balance is crappy. I'm making a trip to L.A. in June but other than that I am making no plans. I'm still getting good reviews on the book and I am very happy with the way everything has gone with it.
I have been offered a chance to be a contributing writer for the NMSS magazine "Connections". This is a great opportunity for me and I am very excited about it. I hope to get back to work on the cd soon, I have been lazy and not really in the right frame of mind. I am ready for the sun to come out!!

March 6, and back

2009-03-06T21:00:00.001-08:00

March 6, 2009

Week looking back.
Last Friday I had my fourth tysabri infusion. Everything went fine. No problems.
My exam left me wondering though. I could not resist force on my legs. When pushed down, I could not hold them up. My doc said “hold them up” as he pushed them down. I was very unstable and could not do it in a few attempts. I tried very hard to do this and it made me do some thinking later that day. I also had an odd, strange time trying to touch my nose. Hold your arms straight out with your palms up. Like someone is about to slap your hands. In the old days we said” give me ten” then the old up high. ANYWAY now from that position, use one hand at a time and with your eyes closed just try to touch your nose. It’s a lot like the sobriety test. That was very unstable and I missed pretty good. I have the fingerprints on my glasses to prove it. This may all mean nothing at all. They might all be better in a few days. The whole “what if” just never leaves. In general I just feel like crap. I think I am due for another weekend of REST.
Sheridan has agreed to play drums on this cd. He is going to be setting up drums for tracking next weekend. All of the recording for this cd is being done in my music room/ I took over the “computer room”. We hope to experiment with drums sounds and proper mic placement. Everything so far has been recorded with a click track. So, there will be no argument over the timing being off.

EBAY signed copy of my book

2009-03-01T09:53:00.000-08:00

I have had a hard time getting around to sign copies of my book like a lot of you have asked. I thought that I would stick one up on ebay and see how that went. If you are interested in getting one before I can get to you check it out:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190290372030

2/26/09

2009-02-26T16:27:00.000-08:00

This week has been pretty good. I have felt really good and had no drama. I go for my infusion tomorrow. Tysabri is making me feel so much better. At least I think is the tysabri. I have been asked to do a book signing down in Waco on St. Patty's day (night). I really want to because my friend Mark Allen Atwood is playing at the event. It is going to be hard but I think that I am going to make the trip. I'm throwing this out to see if I generate any interest from the waco area. Send me a email if you are in the Waco area.
Talk soon!

Brief catchup!!

2009-02-20T20:35:00.000-08:00

I went in for my scheduled neuro visit and m.r.i. and due to complications with my injections on copaxone, We decided to switch to Tysabri. My first Tysabri infusion was in November of 08. I was a little nervous about it but I needed to feel better. Everything went smooth, no problems at all. I returned for my December and January infusions and all went well. I go for my 4th infusion on February 27th and have an appointment with my neurologist the same day. That will be my regularly scheduled check up. I am sure that they will schedule a m.r.i. and take blood. I plan to let him know about the weakness in my legs progressing. Other than that I feel great! I feel better now than I have in the last 3 years. My leg weakness is the only problem. I can deal with that if everything else keeps going the way it’s going. I know that was a quick health update but nothing else major or exciting has happened with that. I did finally get my book out and so far it looks like the people that have read it are enjoying it. I feel so much better knowing that people with ms understand what I’m talking about. Also they know that they are not alone in this fight. Now I have more time to work on this second and maybe final solo cd. I have also agreed to do the vocals on a bands cd. They are some guys that I have played with over the years and are very talented musicians. I will have to make sure and not release my cd at the same time they drop theirs. I guess that I need to stop saying “they”. From what I take in the conversations “WE” are considered the band. Names are being kicked around right now. Before I stepped in they had a name and a few lyrics. Now everything has changed. I wrote new stuff to their music and have exchanged very rough tracks with them. Now they are We. That does not effect the solo stuff that I am doing. It just puts more on my plate. I like it because it keeps me busy and is a totally different style of music. I also had a conference call with some very nice women from the NMSS today. We discussed some possibilities that would help spread the word of my book to quite a few more people than I can do alone. I am sending the Lone Star chapter a copy of the book this weekend. I can use all of the help that I can get to help spread ms awareness. David, if you read this, call me! Talk more soon!!

The week I had............

2009-02-20T20:34:00.000-08:00

This week has been a major clusterf***!
It started Monday night when I began having leg cramps and spasms. As the night went on they got more severe. At around 9:00p.m. They were so bad that I took some muscle relaxers and needed help getting to the bedroom. I could hardly support my own weight. I had to take Tuesday off from work. My legs were shot from cramping and the spasms all night. Wednesday my legs were better but still a little wobbley. I was able to return to work but really tired. Thursday everything was much better. I guess it was just a freaky ms thing. That’s what I hate the most. The unexpected slam of crap that hits with ms. I plan to take it easy this weekend and just see what rolls around. I’m not going to plan any recording or anything. If it happens, it happens. I’m about to start writing a short recap of the timeline to date with Tysabri.

Recording day

2009-02-14T14:29:00.001-08:00

I spent about 6 hours recording today. I am working on my second cd for those of you that are just checking in. My book sales for "Stop Hugging Me" are doing well so far. I am happy to get it out there. So far everyone seems to like it. I hope they come away with a better idea of where ms has taken me. I just started this blog yesterday and will try to catch up from the end of the book. That was my original idea for this blog. I will fill in the past few months since I started Tysabri , in the next few posting I put up. For now, Just a good day of recording.

Stop hugging me- my new book

2009-02-13T16:03:00.000-08:00

I never really thought about writing a book but here it is. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2006 and the book just developed over time. It is about some of the memorable days over the last 3 years of my life with MS.
you can find it on my website http://www.chriscoxrox.com and also http://www.chriscoxrox.com/book.html
I am currently working on my second music cd.